Overreacting
by karatedanceandsing
Summary: Ishimaru has hiccups. Naegi has a headache. Hilarity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

well, I don't know how this popped into my head, but it did. I wondered, 'how would Ishimaru, the order-obsessed dude who overreacts to everything, react to something as common as this?' To be continued. Thanks for reading! •KD&S

As every Super-Duper High School Level something-or-other crowded around one table in the spacious cafeteria, Ishimaru stood up suddenly, his chair creating a screeching cacophony to pierce the awkward silence. The guy had taken it upon himself to lead the group, although no one had agreed to it…but, hey, why hurt his little hall monitor feelings? The others pretended to listen as he continued to restate the obvious.

"Alright! We need to find a way out of here! Any ideas?!" He shouted, loud as always.

When the cafeteria sat in a dead silence, as if someone had pressed the pause button, Ishimaru prompted his peers again. "Come on! Anyone-"

Ishimaru stopped suddenly as his shoulders lurched forward. He tried to mask it with a fake cough, but the silence paired with the-what, thirty eyes staring at him made his ruse of coolness suffer greatly.

He cleared his throat and tried again. "A-Anyone have any-HMK!" His shoulders jumped again as the others finally started to pay attention to him. Some raised an eyebrow at his awkward behavior, and others just stared, waiting for him to continue.

Without saying a word to his classmates, Ishimaru turned and walked towards the exit as fast as he could.

"Ishimaru? Where're you going?" Asahina asked, concern tinting her voice. The questioned hall monitor turned his head, still walking and cleared his throat again.

"I-I-I'll be back," he stuttered as fast as he could, flushing a deep shade of crimson.

As his rapid footsteps faded down the hall, the others just stared at each other.

"Alright, who's going after 'im?" Mondo grumbled.

"I'll do it," called a reluctant Naegi. He ran down the hall, only to be stopped a few seconds later by a unfortunately familiar bear.

"OI! Naegi! No runnin' in the halls!" Monokuma called out.

"I have to catch up with Ishimaru! Somethin's wrong with him!"

"I don't give a flyin' crap!" Monokuma yelled back. "Rules are rules, and the rule is 'no running in the halls'!"

Naegi clenched his teeth and speed walked on.

"By the way," Monokuma called, "ya might be wastin' your time! It's probably somethin' really stupid!"

As a fading laugh of "Upupu…" echoed from the hall, rage presented itself shortly. Naegi was this close to strangling the sadistic bear, but now was not the time. That's right. Ishimaru.

Naegi muttered to himself as he skimmed over the various name plates. Finally, he arrived at the door with a little Ishimaru on it. He knocked a few times, as he knew it was proper to do so, and waited.

Soon enough, a familiar voice, sounding less controlled than normal, shouted back, "I'll be out…in a se…second!", his words pierced by sudden stops.

"Ishimaru, open the door…! It's me, Naegi." He muttered as he started to turn the doorknob to the purple-haired student's room.

Well, he didn't have to ask Ishimaru to open the door for him…he must have been in such a hurry that he never stopped to lock his door. The farther he slowly turned the knob, the more frantic Ishimaru's segmented speech became.

"Wa-…Wait! Don't come i-…in!"

Ignoring his classmate's pleas, the door opened completely, and the scene unfolding before the plain student baffled him.

Ishimaru was leaning against a wall…but why was he standing on his head?! Naegi stepped back in bewilderment, stammering to find words to say.

Ishimaru flipped himself back on his feet…but not before face planting less than gracefully on the hard, unforgiving floor, and cleared his throat yet again.

"I told you not t-…!" It was then Naegi understood the situation crystal clear. Ishimaru let out a loud squeak, his whole body shaking. The rule-obsessed boy blushed further and averted his eyes from Naegi. Said Naegi snapped his fingers in understanding.

"So you just have-"

"Obviously!" Ishimaru squeaked again.

"Well, why did you go making such a big deal of it?! We thought something was wrong with you!" He scolded, swapping the roles of the two.

"As a ha-HMK! …Hall monitor, it is HIC!…my job to be c-HIC!…calm and col-HIC!-lected at all ti-HICCUP! times…!" Ishimaru tried his hardest to finish the sentence as fast as humanly possible, but he couldn't help being interrupted by the annoying noises.

Naegi stared at the miserable boy as he tried desperately to stifle his hiccuping fit. What was he supposed to do? At this point, Naegi knew that it would be a very…VERY long day, since he already had a migrane and he hadn't even had breakfast yet.

"Well, let's go back out and-" Naegi started to suggest, but was cut off by a hysteric Ishimaru.

"No! If I go-HIC! out there, I'll-HIC! make a fool of mys-HIC!-elf!" He begged.

Naegi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why don't I just try to explain this to them before you head back out?" He sighed.

"You'd do-HIC! that for me?" Ishimaru whimpered.

"Yeah, why not? Ugh, I need an asprin…" he whimpered back.

Ishimaru patted Naegi on the back a little bit too hard. "Thank you-HICCUP!…BRO."

Naegi cringed at the awkward placement of the word 'bro'. Words like that didn't mix well with people like him.

Regardless, the two set out to the cafeteria. Ishimaru was filled with an over dramatic anxiety, whilst Naegi was more focused on curing his ailment than covering for Ishimaru's.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yeah, I guess I should continue this.

Naegi was appalled, really. What inexplicable force made him decide this was worth the trouble? That made him think it could stand between him and his precious aspirin? That aside, there was no turning back at this point.

Ishimaru followed behind the plain student like a piece of gum on his shoe. The hall monitor's over dramatic cowardess was slowly picking away at Naegi's patience.

Finally, as they reached the cafeteria, Ishimaru sprinted behind the door, locking his eyes on Naegi. He made a crude hand gesture as if telling him to get on with it. Naegi shot back a glare telling the hiding student that he owed him one.

'I should just get this over with.' Naegi thought as his presence turned a few heads.

"Ah, Naegi! You're back! Is Ishimaru alright?" Maizono was the first to acknowledge his return.

"Oh, he's totally fine." Naegi said, a bit to matter-of-factly. "He just doesn't want to be laughed at."

"Why on earth would we laugh at him?" Asahina asked.

"Ohh, you'll find out soon enough." Naegi sighed.

"So what's the dude's prob?" Hagakure asked, leaning back into his chair. 'Typical of him,' Naegi thought. 'Ignorance is bliss for a guy like Hagakure.'

"He just-" Naegi was about to finish that sentence when an excruciating screech came from behind the cafeteria doors.

You know what? If he couldn't finish an explanation, Ishimaru had to do it himself. He pointed at the door, hoping it would suffice, and muttered, "I'm going to get some aspirin."

Ishimaru froze dead in his tracks. He didn't move. He didn't blink. He didn't even breathe. A hand was tightly held over his mouth as everyone continued to stare in his direction. It was all over. He might as well accept defeat.

Ishimaru stepped out into sight… _very_ slowly, may I add, and kept the same hand over his mouth. Much to his displeasure, he hiccuped loudly into his hand, but still loud enough for the others to hear.

"You just have hiccups…? _That's it_?!" Fukawa screeched.

"Hey, lay off the poor guy!" Asahina defended.

Ishimaru squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. Maybe this was a bad dream. Once again, he was distraught to open his eyes again to see the same thing. Yep, not a dream.

"Well, regardless…" Kirigiri interrupted, "how did we let this get us off track? We still have to actually start this."

"Well, how's that bro supposed to do all of the speakin' if he can't say one uninterrupted sentence?" Leon asked the lavender detective.

"I-I think we should help him out…" Fujisaki suggested quietly.

"Well, if all you're going to do is discuss petty hiccup cures, count me out." Togami declared, standing up to leave the room.

"I go wherever Togami goes!" Fukawa ran after her knight in velvet suits.

Soon enough, a few people trickled out of the cafeteria, until only Leon, Maizono, Fujisaki, Mondo, Junko, Celeste, Asahina and Sakura were left to console the hall monitor.

"Any ideas?" Celeste opened the new topic.

"Ah, I remember somethin'!" Leon snapped his fingers. "I remember…this one time, one of my teammates got this really bad case of hiccups during practice and we tried to ignore it…but we ended up forcing him to chug his whole water bottle!" He laughed out loud.

"So…drink some water?" Junko simplified.

"…and we had to hold him down by his arms! Good times…" at this point, Leon was now full on laughing about his baseball memories, until Fujisaki, Celeste, Asahina and Sakura followed Ishimaru to the kitchen.

The white-clad student had already filled a glass of water, and was eyeing it anxiously for some unfathomable reason.

"Well? Aren't you gonna drink it?" Asahina placed a hand on her hip. Ishimaru snapped his eyes towards her in a jittery fashion.

"U-uh…yeah…" He hiccuped shortly after. Halfway through downing the glass, he jerked forward, subsequently choking on the water.

Ishimaru coughed and hacked loud enough to make a few heads in the dining room turn while half-listening to Leon's incessant blabbing.

When a handful of seconds passed, and Ishimaru was showing no signs of improvement, Sakura took that as her key. She approached Ishimaru and began _slamming her fist_ on his back. Well, that worked…but it ended up hurting more than helping. At this point, he was struggling to beg Sakura to stop. Finally, Fujisaki timidly yelped, "W-Wait, you're hurting him!"

Sakura pulled her hand away and apologized to Ishimaru. Once he could speak again, he accepted the apology, waving dismissively.

Attracted by the chaotic cacophony, Junko entered the room. Raising an eyebrow with an irritated attitude, she addressed her entrance.

"Alright, I'll bite. Like…how did turn into a full-on execution?" Her annoying voice whined.

"Why not call it…a lack of communication?" Celeste mused, looking as serious as ever. As if adding onto Celeste's account, Ishimaru tried to muffle a hiccup.

"Well, ya ended up chokin' 'cuz ya did it wrong!" She stated in a rather accusatory tone. "Ya gotta stand on your head!"

Ishimaru didn't dare mention the fact that he already tried standing on his head. It would ruin everything. Instead, he turned away, humiliated.

"If I were to-HIC!-do something as stra-nge as stand on-HIC!-my head, my c-HIC!-calm demeanor would be-HIC!-ruined!"

This guy…he needed to chill. At least that's what the look on everyone's faces said when they glanced at each other sideways.

"At least just give it a shot," she shrugged, turning to leave. "Oh, by the way, Mondo has a suggestion. He just doesn't give enough craps to tell you."

"What suggestion?" Celeste asked.

"He said somethin' about holdin' your breath." She said with her back turned as she left yet again.

"Oh, that reminds me! I have Internet access on my computer…" Fujisaki snapped his fingers. "Oh, and before you ask, I've already tried looking up anything useful about this place…I got nothing."

"Well, why don't you go get it while we try helping Ishimaru here?" Asahina smiled. Fujisaki nodded and started a trek to the library. Once Fujisaki was out of sight, the three girls turned to Ishimaru, motioning for him to get it on with.

Ishimaru took in a deep breath and crossed his arms. As he stared off into the distance, the others stared back in awkward silence. He hiccuped a few times, and soon enough, the others could tell something was wrong. His face was turning a concerning shade of blue, and was fidgeting uncomfortably.

" _Breathe, you moron!"_ Asahina shouted in a panic. Yes, we're all aware here that Asahina isn't known to call people morons. Still, she was known to say things in a blind panic.

Ishimaru exhaled loudly, panting for a few moments.

"Why didn't you breathe?!" Asahina scolded.

"Even in such an insignificant situation, I must do my best!"

Everyone stared at Ishimaru as if he had grown another head. "Is something wrong?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Well, for a start, you finished that sentence free of interruptions," Sakura pointed out.

Ishimaru froze. She was right. A smile slowly grew on his face.

"Ha, ha! As I said, effort always yields results! I shall have to thank Mondo for his helpful tip!"

The three ladies scratched the back of their heads. Man, he had a weird way of speaking. Regardless, this pointless ordeal was over.

The four started to return to the kitchen, ready to resume the previous—

" _Ishimaru!"_ Fujisaki panted as he returned with his bulky laptop.

Ishimaru, still unnecessarily jumpy, let out a less then masculine shriek and flew back.

"Friend Fujisaki! Don't scare me like…"

Screw you, Fujisaki…seriously. You're adorable, but screw you. Somehow, he managed to scare Ishimaru so bad, the hiccups came back. How, you ask? Logic, that's how. Try not to think too much about it.


End file.
